A few of the responses I've gotten from friends who've changed churches (some, more than once recently):
Again, no particular order and no response from me until after the list:
I want something new and more exciting.
I want a smaller/larger church than the one I've been attending.
I want more traditional/more contemporary music.
I don't feel challenged by the pastor's sermon.
The pastor's sermon is more like meddling in my life.
People don't come up to me to talk after/before church.
Many of the women here have children, and all they want to talk about is their children.
The church talks too much about money.
Nobody/everybody asks me to do things for the church.
The people don't seem to be really worshiping the Lord as they should.
The people are too physically demonstrative in their worship of the Lord.
I can slip out the back after church and no one notices that I was there.
This is only a sample. Most people I've asked have been pretty straight-forward about their "reasons." A few have said something vague, such as, "I just felt it was time to move on." I purposely grouped these things in contrasting pairs to show that there is no limit to the things people object to or feel slighted by. Both sides almost always showed up in answer to my question.
As I've said before in another post, to me, church membership - being accepted into a body of believers either formally or not represents a commitment on both sides. The congregation welcomes you and accepts the role of supporting/teaching etc. and you, the role of doing the same for them:
"What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church."(I Corinthians 14:26)
Now, I realize that there is another attitude prevalent today which says, "I can be just as good a Christian outside the church as in." Quite often this is followed by the old standby, "there are too many hypocrites in the church" ...or, "I can tell you horror stories about things that happened in church." All three of these statements and others like them are meant to imply that the person is better/more spiritual/more moral than those in church or, that church, at best, is either totally unnecessary, evil, or purely optional.
If we think of the church as something we "shop for," this implies that we want to do the choosing. If we ask God to lead us to the church He would have us be a part of, we want God to do the choosing. It is no secret that we have been conditioned to "shop" for everything we want. There are competing products in every line of merchandise and service - and high-powered ads to convince us to buy a certain brand. So we have taken that attitude to church on Sunday....The church plant, the parking lot, the greeters, the restrooms, the choir or band, the coffee (no kidding), the sermon, the youth ministry - expecting that this church should supply all our needs and wants, including the care and teaching of our children and our personal Bible study. In doing so, we find that every single church fails on one point or another...(poor coffee) and that none of those things are our responsibility privately. Also, we are expecting to be wooed by the pastor and congregation, if they really want us, they'll bend over backward to please us. Then, shortly after joining, something goes wrong or someone looks at us wrong or slights us, and the honeymoon is over. This is the silliest, most unscriptural, unspiritual, immature scenario imaginable, and yet it is occurring all over the country. Churches begin to concentrate on getting and keeping people instead of serving God and the community in the gospel of Christ.
God doesn't want churches to become exclusive "clubs" where only certain type people are welcome. He is raising an army of believers who can put up with a few less than perfect situations and with less than perfect people (which we all qualify to be) in order to proclaim the perfect Christ who provided the perfect sacrifice for sinners, so that we sinners could be His brethren and live and work with Him forever. We are a body of believers world-wide, not a scattering of Lone Rangers, loose cannons, and secret believers.
In writing this post, I have become aware that we all are losing sight of God - or becoming our own god/constructing a god according to our own ideas. I pray that God will use you and I to welcome in a revival of the Holy Spirit's power. Not only do we want to see our brethren prospering in the abundant (spiritual) life and people being saved, but we want to see God's glory more than to be petted and pleased and catered to. This is my prayer.
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